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"Ah-ha" Answers



These are the answers to the "Ah-ha" stories posted on LinkedIn.
Click on any answer to be taken to the article.





The zero in the corner



January 24, 2021


The mysterious little box, filled in for all these years with zeroes, told why production had been down on some days. The heading: “Number of Air Raids Today”.



How to lose a canoe race



January 22, 2021


Obviously, they would win if they replaced the rowers – after all they obviously had not properly followed directions.



Negotiating salary



January 18, 2021


“I’m not,” replied the interviewer. “But you started the kidding with that ridiculous salary request!”



How tall is the flagpole



January 17, 2021


“Well,” stated the one with the piece of paper in his hand, “we needed the height and he gave us the length.”



Importance of Communication



January 13, 2021


I said, "you’ve got a heart murmur so be careful!”



Fixing his



January 8, 2021


It read: “Prescription: Take three teaspoons of Tastital every hour.”



The heir and the parrot



December 31, 2020


“Just one thing,” the parrot said. “What did the chicken do?”



Testing airplane windshields



December 29, 2020


The message said, “Thaw chickens before firing.”



Customers like you



December 28, 2020


“Well,” replied the salesman with a smile, “right now I have about 200 customers like you. I really do wish I only had 50.”



The problem with titles



December 27, 2020


“Because today in school I was elected my class’s vice president. If I have to do all those bad things, I reckon I’ll be in a lot of trouble.”



Keeping warm in winter



December 26, 2020


“Oh, we have no idea,” they said. “We went to Florida every winter.”



The pillars



December 21, 2020


“Although the two men were standing next to different pillars, it was clearly a duplication of effort.”




The invisible girl



December 11, 2020


“Yeah, right,” the physicist replied. “Like that’s going to happen.”



The big fish



December 5, 2020


This is a variation of the problem with fish heads from Nov. 27. Therefore the answer is also similar.


Jeff replied, "My frying pan is too small for it."



The doorbell



December 3, 2020


As soon as it rang the two boys picked up their backpacks and yelled, “Run!” and disappeared around the corner.



The problem with fish heads



November 27, 2020


“That’s easy, said great-grandma, “because my baking pan was too small to fit in the whole fish”.



The foot ache



November 24, 2020


“ I just need the pill the doctor left here so I can put it in the water."



The pheasant and the hunters



November 17, 2020


“Great shooting, on average I reckon we got it,” he explained.



The misdirected email



November 13, 2020


"Dearest Sweetheart. Just checked in. Everything is prepared for your arrival tomorrow. By the way, it’s very hot down here.”



The free advice



November 11, 2020


The mailbox had one item in it: a bill from the lawyer.



The wet wife



November 9, 2020


“She is in the bathroom, after the fall of the pool I hung her up to dry,” said John.



Selling vacuums



November 1, 2020


As she said, she had no money. In fact, her electricity had been turned off that morning.



A lame excuse?



October 28, 2020


“I'm the only gravedigger in town.”



The hole story



October 27, 2020


“Fred is supposed to put a small bush in the hole.”



The advice



October 25, 2020


“Actually, he just told me I needed to come and see you.”



The flea circus



October 21, 2020


It seems the fleas had tired of hitting their heads on the lid. After a short period of time they had stopped jumping as high.



Blind man in the park



October 20, 2020


"It's a beautiful day. You can see it. I cannot.”



The hat shoppe



October 14, 2020


“Hats priced too high for the average woman”.



The meat market



October 7, 2020


“That’s easy. Some people like meat that costs three dollars a pound and some people like meat that cost five dollars a pound. My job is to give them what they want.”



The homemade cookies



October 2, 2020


“No, sir,” replied the officer. “I was just wondering if you had any more of those great cookies.”



The tricky florist



September 29, 2020


The shorthand message given to the secretaries by the 1960s businessmen was actually intended for the secretaries themselves. It asked them to remember Max Schling’s name the next time they were asked by their boss to send flowers to their wives.



Ronald Reagan



September 23, 2020


“The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things,” said Reagan, “He is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things.”



The 3 parrots



September 20, 2020


“We do not really know,” said the shopkeeper, “but the other two call him ‘boss’.”



Ben Franklin



September 17, 2020


“The reason I use those terms is because I’ve forgotten her real name.”



The dog at the office



September 14, 2020


“No, and please don’t tell her, she’ll have me answering the phones, too.”



Beggar's marketing lesson



September 12, 2020


“You will not be successful unless you get a cup,” he pointed out.



Do your talents add value?



September 9, 2020


“I have a shop full of guys that do that all day -- I need someone that will work.”



The interview question



September 8, 2020


"The living one."



The flat tire



September 7, 2020


"My wife is an expert, too. If you will just do all the arguing with her about how this tire ought to be changed, I can concentrate on the work and get the job done."



The room without an exit



September 3, 2020


The guest continued, “The third door has a ‘do not disturb’ sign on it.”



Cleaning the elevators



September 1, 2020


“Sorry, it is taking so long to get the elevators cleaned,” the employee apologized, “I’ve cleaned both elevators on each of the lower thirty floors and only have a few floors to go. I would be done, but sometimes I must wait a long time for the door to open.



The spendthrift and sparrow



August 31, 2020


"Thanks to you I am freezing," exclaimed the spendthrift.



The fish scale



August 27, 2020


The baby weighed over 20 pounds.



The bus fare



August 26, 2020


“See, I told you honesty pays! I gave the driver a single and he gave me back change for a five.”



The cat and cab driver



August 22, 2020


"Sorry it took so long," he said. "The stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"



The great one



August 18, 2020


“You miss 100% of the shots,” he said, “you never take.”



The trick question



August 14, 2020


“The living one.”



The salt shaker



August 12, 2020


The emailed reply read, “I am not saying that you do or do not sleep with your housekeeper, but if she was sleeping in her own bed she would know where the saltshaker is.”



Lost the job



August 11, 2020


You wrote, "neither do I".



The Sleeping Pills



August 7, 2020


Bill had completely slept through the entire prior day and absenteeism required either a doctor’s note or written explanation.



The Rescue Team



July 30, 2020


“If you really want to help jump in and help me find my car keys.”



The Glacier



July 25, 2020


The caption read, “Sunset over Sumdum Glacier, Alaska”.



The Dieter



July 24, 2020


“No, it’s just that all that skipping makes me tired.”.



The Officer Missed Something



July 23, 2020


“I’m the groom.”



The Lion and the Chihuahua



July 22, 2020


“Where has that monkey gone? I sent him hours ago to bring me another lion.”



The Anniversary Message



July 21, 2020


The card the florist had inserted with the flowers read, "Happy anniversary. Now you're number two."



The Messy Desk



July 20, 2020


There on the floor was the same book, a bookmark sticking from the top indicated the last supervisor had given it to him.



The Wake-Up Call



July 19, 2020


“It’s 7:00, dear, time to get up.”



The Sleeping Dog



July 9, 2020


“Before I put up the sign people kept tripping over Hunter. I was afraid someone would hurt themselves falling.”



The Cannibals



July 7, 2020


"You fool!" said the leader, "For weeks we've been eating managers and no one noticed anything. But you had to go and eat someone important!"



The $600k Mistake



July 5, 2020


“I just spent $600,000 training him. Why would I want somebody to hire his experience?”



Finding Mr. Jones



July 2, 2020


“Because he was sitting in the lobby where you came in,” the teen explained.



The Lip Prints



July 1, 2020


“There are probably several ways, but here is how I do it,” Nancy said before taking a handful of paper towels and opening one of the stalls, dipped the towels in the toilet water and used them to wipe the mirror.



The Argument



June 25, 2020


"She said, 'Come out from under that bed, you coward!'"



The Last Chicken



June 23, 2020


“That’s a little better, I’ll take it,” she said.


Then thinking it over she added, “You know what, I better take both of them.”



The Bathtub



June 22, 2020


Emptying the tub by pulling the plug is the fastest way possible way to get rid of the water - not to mention the cleanest (because of sloshing the water). Yet it was not one of the solutions provided even though it was very visible to him.



The Confessional



June 18, 2020


The mayor continued to the astonishment of the crowd. “I remember the first day Father O’Reilly arrived,” the mayor continued. In fact, I was the first person he heard in the confessional.”



The Hammer Order



June 16, 2020


“Yes, they do have hammers in stock at $100 for a dozen. I also found out that two dozen only costs $150, that's half price.” Our cost is normally $10, so I ordered them for tomorrow.”



The Stutterer



June 7, 2020


Russ pictured the "Shut Up" each time he was tempted to talk. The man said Russ was the first person never to try to complete his sentences.



The Monkeys and the Banana



May 28, 2020


Although none have seen or personally participated in the spray, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana.



The Clowns



May 23, 2020


"Jack, she says she’ll pay you $50 if you chop off another toe.”



St. Patrick's Cathedral



May 18, 2020


"I am helping to build this beautiful cathedral so people can come here to worship their Lord.”



Mountain Climbers



May 10, 2020


"Yes."

"Excuse me?" she said, surprised.

"Yes. I'll make it."